It seems a college student from Michigan has accidently opened an email they received from their aunt. It is better just to go to the article written by The Onion. Thank god for The Onion.
Quality journalism is dying off and The Onion is one of the last outfits that can tell a story truthfully, and accurately.
I think I’d rather get v1@gr4 spam then be subjected to an email forward. At least the spam is funny…
…from The Onion
The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has given a stamp of approval to Olympic athletes who want to blog at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games… with some guidelines of course. The guidelines issued keep instep with the committees history of cracking down on what it has deemed copyright infringing content.
From the article:
Athletes or officials who blog can only post still pictures taken outside accredited areas or their own pictures taken within these areas that do not contain any sporting action.
The IOC is eager to protect rights holders as Games broadcasting contracts are worth several billion euros.
Blogs should not have exclusive agreements with any company and there should be no commercial reference or advertising either, the IOC said.
We’re worried these guidelines might not be enough. The IOC might want to take a page from the Chinese government’s book on how to deal with blogers. They seem to have it down pat.
… from Guardian UK
Scientists have discovered how birds stay in formation when flying, namely, the starling bird. Apparently they just act as if they are a high school student and follow everyone else. Each bird pays attention to seven of its neighbors and looks for clues as to the direction.
This of course brings us one step closer to the swarms of evil nanobots combing the globe that Michael Crichton described to in his novel, Prey.
… from Neatorama
Lesbians everywhere rejoice at the news that they can knock each other up. It seems one Professor Karim Nayernia has created sperm cells from bone marrow and some other junk — we’ll spare you the specifics. They were able to use the procedure on mice with limited success.
I think this is deplorable. Just think of what this will do to the sperm bank market. What about them and their loyal donors? Did you think of their families Mr. Nayernia? No, you didn’t. Thousands of male college students will now go hungry because of your arrogance.
… from Telegraph.co.uk
MySpace, brought to us by internet innovator Ruport Murdoch, has just won a decision against Total Web Solutions. TWS, now former owner of Myspace.co.uk, registered the domain in 1997 — or ~2 years before MySpace came to be. I just hope that two years from now someone doesn’t make a crappy, bloated, unresponsive social network filled with profiles that have more flare than a 1994 Geocities page and call it Obnoxious Mods.
… from Domain Name News
I’m glad someone has come up with this. It’s like an eye shade only it plugs into your computer via USB to give you soothing eye-warmth. You are also easily able to control the temperature by using the on/off switch.
Just the other day I was complaining to my girlfriend about how my eyes were a bit chilly. She of course told me to put on a sweater because she was “soooo warm”.
… from GetUSB.info
Everybody is rushing to provide products that alleviate some of the guilt of living. And here comes Bloomsberry & Company and their Climate Change Chocolate by way of TerraPass. Now, this chocolate won’t change the world, but apparently the “15 tips for lightening your environmental impact” will. Oh — and they also guarantee that buying one bar will offset your carbon usage for the day.
From the page:
Climate Change Chocolate comes with a verified TerraPass offset of 133 pounds of carbon dioxide reductions, the average American’s daily carbon impact. We hope this small offset will be the first taste of a lower-carbon lifestyle for Whole Foods shoppers who decide to take responsibility for their climate change impact.
We don’t know how they offset your carbon dioxide — they don’t say. But trust them, they did it. We assume they buy carbon offset certificates from many of the companies that deal in that sort of thing, who also could just be saying they did it.
So buy this chocolate in bulk. You will have a warm fuzzy feeling inside knowing that you’ve done something to reduce your carbon footprint. Well, that is, reduced your daily carbon footprint, you will still have one huge fat-ass carbon footprint from eating all that chocolate.
… from TerraPass
This is probably the fifth fart related product I’ve seen in my life. Let’s consider that five too many. This one you stick to the inside of your underoos and supposedly it will filter last nights burrito stank to the joy of everyone around you. I don’t think it does anything for the sound though. Watch the video if you dare. I hope you’re as disturbed as me by the old woman in a thong.
For the fart pads:
For the video:
… from Strange New Products
If there were any more recognized holidays in a year our lives would be nothing more than taking down last months holiday decorations and putting up this months. Easter is nearly upon us and it brings a plethora (thanks Three Amigos!) of new annoying decorations with it. Like take a look at these egg(?) lights. We are pretty sure they are egg lights. Either that or some new masochistic sex toy.
… from GetUSB
This beautiful work of art comes to us from Taiwan’s National Kaohsiung University of Applied Sciences. It won’t do 0-60 MPH in 4 seconds…. or even 60 MPH at all. Yup, that’s right. It tops out at 43 MPH. I hate myself for this next one… but, on the bright side of things it runs on solar power. About 3 hours of sun to 3 hours of driving time. I for one find this hard to believe but who cares, I won’t be buying one anyways.
So what does this techage set you back? About $25,000. For that price you could get a couple race horses destined for the glue factory. About the same speed and more efficient.
… from The Raw Feed